The Two of Cups
Two of Cups 🤍
In a love reading, this card represents soulmate connection and deep romance. It confirms that you are either with your person or that your person is on their way into your life. It can also represent harmony.
As someone who has always denied my deep romanticism (hello, Venus in Pisces), this last year allowed me to acknowledge the parts of me that really desired a partner.
I spent a year working on the aspects of myself that felt unworthy of love from a partner. I excavated many of the places I abandoned within myself on the search for connection. I acknowledged the smaller parts of me that internalized rejection and fear of abandonment.
I took a year off of dating to solely focus on cultivating a romantic relationship with myself. My heart has never been more open, and I have never felt more in my feminine. I use to hide behind walls, craving intimacy but unconsciously pushing away the men I were involved with.
Getting back into dating after my hiatus was me saying yes again. But differently than before. I knew that despite all the work and healing, the softening, and opening, I would still have to be patient in the process.
Allowing myself to go on dates again was a big step in opening myself up even more to the old pain. And although my first few encounters ended on positive and soft notes, my last one sent me back into old stories.
Stories of rejection and fear started to swirl my head as I witnessed the same pattern playing out again. All of my past interactions flooded my heart and brought in such massive amounts of grief and sadness. It was like this final purge of all my old narratives begging to be forsaken.
My trip to California came at a perfect time, allowing for the physical space for me to identify what it was about this person that I wanted to learn about myself. Deep, buried below the ghosting was the ultimate truth. Was I willing to finally decide my birthright of being worthy of love? Was I willing to consider that all of my partners in the past mirrored the way I felt about myself? That the rejection I ultimately always faced was actually that of my own? This last encounter offered the invitation to fully step into my belief about my own worthiness.
During my trip I had several profound moments of my becoming. One morning on the first snow, I woke up and went for a drive. Tears started to roll down my face taking in the landscape and purity of a fresh layer of snowfall. I stuttered out "It's finally here. It's finally sticking. I finally feel the change I have always been reaching for. It's here."
In that moment I knew there was no going back. I am not returning to those stories, my narrative is rewritten. I am deeply worthy of a loving and divine partnership. I have full trust and have come into a solid relationship of harmony with myself. I have forgiven myself for all the times I stepped into life half-open, thinking I was protecting myself. I surrender the old versions of myself that clawed her way into acceptance instead of knowing it.
For the lovers, for the peaceful warriors, for the romantics, for the healing and the heartbroken, I say this to you: you are deeply worthy of the love you desire, and you are whole and enough in this moment to receive it. Nothing to fix. Nothing to change.
In harmony and trust,
Tahiti
