Identity

Thoughts On

Nov 3

IN MY HEART, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT INCREDIBLY MISUNDERSTOOD.

A natural empath, my entire life being told I was “too sensitive” or “too much.” In my adulthood I have learned to heal and let go of those old narratives, allowing myself to live more authentically and in my own identity and truth. What I’ve discovered is that I signed up for a life-long commitment to defining and deciding what my true identity is. Without outside influence. This is not an easy feat, in a society that has been built on telling us how we should think, feel, say, do. Becoming your own authority can feel overwhelming. Rejecting the status quo often feels like you’re being the rebellion against everyone else. The rebel is always looked at as the outcast as if for some reason cultivating your own sense of self is a bad trait.

It makes sense that unconsciously I have built a career in brand development. Helping others figure out what their identity is and narrating it through photos, graphics, and words. At the end of the day, I am a creator. I help build and sculpt the identities of my clients and their brands. Illuminating their truths and authentic spirit. Perhaps this has always been what I was brought into this life to do, or perhaps it is what I have always wanted for myself. To be seen, to be understood. Just like how I develop a brand, understanding the clientele, the goals, the voice, I too am in constant development. I am not for everyone. I have learned that this is ok. A brand’s worth does not ride on the success of being well-liked by all, but by having it’s loyal and trusted community.

Brands evolve. We evolve. 2020 taught me about owning what is mine, and what isn’t. Allowing myself to get an even clearer picture of who I am, what I want, and what I seek in the world. 2020 was about seeing clearly. Letting my cloudy old-way thinking clear out judgments of self and others. 2020 has been an awakening like no other, a year to truly get to the root and truth of my reason for showing up during this time. I’ve been so worried about how I was going to be perceived, that I have wrapped a lot of my identity into large bandages… “oh yeah, this isn’t really ready yet” I would say to myself. Not realizing I was letting my wounds fester, instead of letting them air out. Where they could actually heal

Developing this identity of mine has taught me a few things: we are not our parents or those who raised us, but we are undoubtedly the consequences of all of the actions or non-actions our caregivers took. We inherit massive amounts of them, wether we choose to or not. And how we utilize this is completely up to each individual. My journey is not your journey, that’s what is so beautiful about dissecting and deciding your identity. It should go without saying that each of us have a unique story to tell. Each story is significant. Each story matters. If you happen to read this, you probably have been aching or calling out (consciously or sub-consciously) for permission to step into your true self. I am offering it now to you. There are no prerequisites, no additional forms to fill out. You. In this moment, are completely and whole-heartedly offered the opportunity to set forth and decide who you are. You. In this exact moment have everything you need to be who you want to be. The only difference is the choice to believe it.

I have had to learn how to consciously build my own sovereignty in my life. No one was going to do this to me. Sure, you have parents or mentors or peers telling you “you can do anything you want in life” - but who shows up and says “you can BE whoever you are.” Maybe I don’t strive for anything exterior than complete peace and calmness. Maybe my deepest desire is to do something big for this planet. Maybe my true identity is living a life so full of self-love that I am able to offer it to those around me. Maybe your identity has been so tied and closely watched for decades that you have rejected the idea that as you exist now is… actually quite perfect. So often we are told we will be x when x. So little are we told in this moment we are whole. No journey is easy, no journey comes without its own trials and conditioning. But no journey was ever meant to be lived as anything less than your true authentic self.